1.03: Old Dog

August 4

4 months since Event

For weeks now, I’ve been sick as a dog. Achy and nauseated. Head killing me. Stupid me, I thought it was radiation poisoning or some other bizarre illness – nobody really knows what happened to cause the societal breakdown.

Turns out, I’m just fucking pregnant. Finally figured it out when I realized oh, hey, it’s been months since my uterus tried to kill me.

I can’t believe this. I never wanted a baby. Do I look like the kind of person to spit out a kid? And I sure as hell don’t want one now! How am I supposed to clothe it? Feed it? How am I even supposed to keep myself healthy while I’m carrying it? I can’t just pop over to the drugstore for a pack of pre-natals.

Part of me though…part of me is happy. When I realized I had to be pregnant, I actually felt something like…like joy. Inside me, there’s a part of me and a part of Gio. Maybe it’ll even be a boy who looks like him. I’ll never see Gio again, but…maybe I’ll see him in our kid?

Christ, I’m turning into a fucking sap.

Okay, but even if it might not be the worst thing to have a kid, seriously, what am I going to do with it? Alone, I don’t need to work. I can hunt up something to eat. I’m plenty good at taking other people’s cash – but how am I gonna pickpocket someone with a squalling baby on my hip? How would I even go to a real job, for that matter. Daycare ain’t exactly a thing anymore.

There’s this broad a ways down the street, lives in a little shack. She always seems kind of scared of me whenever we pass on the road. Maybe I could get her to watch it…Threaten the living hell out of her, and the kid would be safe, right? I can’t think of a better option.

What am I going to do though? The only thing I’ve ever done is mob work – a lot of it wet. I’m not cut out for some office job, if those are even around. I’m an old dog, and I’m learning enough new tricks, fuck you very much.

Which leaves…the mob.

It makes sense. I’ve been thinking of finding my way back in for a while, really. The only power in this town is with them. And power equals safety. The kid and I, that’s what we need.

I’ll do something to get by until the kid comes. But once it’s out in the world, it looks like I’m going back to work.

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